


What, Did You Think Your Ass Would Age Like Wine?

by Ryan-Haymahogany (orphan_account)



Category: Fake AH Comics, Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Fake AH Crew, GTA V AU, Inspired by Bilvy's death AU, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-08 06:34:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3199085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Ryan-Haymahogany
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A selection of memories from the members of The Fake AH Crew plucked out from the time between their last heist began and their last breath was taken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

They'd all agreed it was time to call it quits. Maybe not forever, but at least for a little while. The authorities were hot and threatening, trying their best to stir any member of the crew into a panic. Apparently, they didn't take to kindly to all the fuss that the crew was stirring up in Los Santos. Too many blues laid dead in the streets after they tried to fiddle with their affairs, and it was too much of a burden for them to bear.

They just wanted to play it safe. One last big heist to hold them over, and then each individual could make the choice to wait for the crew to reunite or go off on their own, different crews, different life, even go on to live it clean if they so desired. They knew better than to try to push themselves through a current of police and expect themselves to come out on the other side. Sooner or later no matter how hard they push or how far they get, everyone gets dragged downstream. So, they weren't even going to try. Why run through the water when you can take a fucking bridge, right?

So, they all came together one evening, after a week's break of heists and robberies, and sat in Geoff's apartment. He'd laid down the plans, what they're going to need, how they're going to get it: the works. None of them felt under-confident. None of them were afraid. They were all at peace and ready to begin. They knew how to do this.

Ever since that night, sitting in the middle of Geoff's apartment, a lazy blanket of smoke suspended in midair and bottles taking up every available table, where he'd detailed the plans for their last heist, was an unspoken fate set for the crew. He didn't just plan out the end of their days together, but for some, the end of their days. With Ryan's eyes following his every step, Ray leaning into his shoulder, he should've felt something, like those people do in movies. He didn't feel anything. No one felt anything. No one embraced, no one spoke of apologies and good terms. No one made any calls.

And when Geoff slapped his hands together with a startling clap, and told them all it was time to get to work, the most dread it rattled in anyone was from the surprise of the noise itself. Little did they know the metaphorical gunfire had just been shot, and the race had begun. The race to the end of their time.


	2. Ray - Beginning the Heist

"So, everyone. This time tomorrow. Everyone meet here, we'll go over the plan one last time, then we'll head out. No fucking around. We don't want any of you idiots to die, now."

Ray looked over at Michael, grinning at how he was laughing like an idiot.

"It's not that funny, Michael!" Gavin grinned at him.

Ray turned his head to Ryan, the skull mask currently covering his face, but he could tell he was looking right back. They had agreed that after this heist they would stay thick as thieves. Ray loved Ryan with all he could muster, and was incredibly grateful that Ryan was with him. He squeezed his hand, which had intertwined itself with the brunette's some time during Geoff's little spiel. He heard Michael and Gavin laughing in the background, along with Lindsay and Jack talking about something Jack had decided to do with his make up. All he really focused on was the man next to him, until finally Ryan nudged him up. 

"Come on, we should get home."

They said their goodbyes, all smiling faces, ignoring the fact they wouldn't see each other for quite some time after tomorrow night. He leaned onto Ryan, arm slung over his shoulder so he could lean on him. He just didn't really feel like carrying himself, and who needs to when you have someone to conveniently help you around? 

"Where do you want to eat tonight, Rye? My treat."

He shrugged. 

"Uh, Chipotle?"

"Nah."

"Just wanna get some Domino's pasta or something?"

"Yeah. That sounds nice."

The gent held open the door to his Pegassi, and Ray slid in without question, waiting patiently for the man to get to the other side before continuing. 

"Do they have chicken alfredo? I'd kill for some."

Ryan shrugged.

"Eh, I guess we'll find out."

As Ryan drove them, Ray talked. He talked about nothing in particular. Nothing of interest. 

"Duuuuude, did you hear about that surfer who was found dead under the pier the other day? Apparently he was there for weeks and no one fucking noticed! Can you believe it? That's how I wanna go, man. No one finds me until some horny couple tries to fuck on top of me. Sorry guys, secluded fucking place is taken."

The gent laughed and turned to him. "Can you take my mask off? We're going too fast for me to get it."

"Yeah, one second."

He slipped the skull off of his head, and even let down Ryan's hair for him. His ponytail was wrecked as hell.

"Hey Ryan?"

"What?"

"Are we really going to stick together on this little.. hiatus?"

"As long as you keep looking like that, sure."

"Mmm," Ray turned, looking out the window. The cars went by fairly quickly. He thinks about how sometimes his questions don't make him feel good like he expects them to.

When they final arrive at Domino's, placing their order and finding out they do indeed have chicken alfredo, Ray's a bit relieved. He's been fuckin' hungry since noon, and it's like, 10 now. They're told to come back in 25 minutes to get their finished order, and he practically bounds back out to the car. 

"Do you mind if we just sit in the car? I don't really feel like driving and coming back."

"No, that's cool."

They got back inside the vehicle, Ray pulling out his phone to tap away on as Ryan lit up a cigarette. He used to hate the smell of cigarettes, but now it' almost comforting. He can tell, by this point, when someone smokes the same brand as Ryan's. It just makes him warm inside. Like all those times they'd cuddled after sex or held hands while sitting atop Mount Chilliad. He finds himself looking over at him, idly typing away at the phone. Ryan grins, turns to him, and playfully bows the smoke in his face. Now, Ray makes a face of disdain. 

"Fuck you."

"You were fuckin' staring at me."

"Eh, you're going to give me cancer," he looked back at his phone, where he was messaging Geoff.

Ryan flicked on the radio, adjusting the station until he landed on one with Blue Oyster Cull playing. He took a long drag.

"You know, I was just kidding earlier when I mentioned if you stayed looking like that."

"Hmm? Oh. I know."

"Alright."

They sat uncomfortably for a few seconds, then Ryan leaned over the seat, kissing Ray's cheek like an apologetic dog.

"Heh, stop that."

He grinned, giving a few more little kisses. 

"Ryan, I'm serious!" Ray laughed, turning to face him for what seemed like the millionth time today.

"Can we have a bit of fun tonight? Helps me focus."

"Yeah, sure. Don't need to kiss my ass for that, you know."

Ryan shrugged, sitting back and flicking his cigarette out the open window. "Eh, it's nice to be nice occasionally."

"I'm sure."

They finally got their food, and rushed back to Ray's apartment. There, they ate chicken alfredo while sitting on the floor in front of Ray's couch, so they could eat off the coffee table. They watched some shitty cartoons, which Ray found fucking hilarious but Ryan would just give him incredulous looks at. However, before they were even done with dinner Ryan was stroking his hair, and smiling at him every time he bothered to look over. It would have been ridiculous to see Ryan trying to seduce him if he wasn't so fucking good at it. Yeah, it might have kind of worked. Still, it's the concept of it, right?

By the end, Ray was on top of Ryan, panting and grinning down at him. Ryan was already propped with his arms behind his head, smiling back up at him coyly. He'd barely even broken a fucking sweat, the jerk. 

"Uh, I think my legs are asleep."

"I don't mind you staying there."

"Oh fuck you. Come on, help me."

Ryan sat up, wrapping his arms around the lads chest so he could kiss him fully. The smaller groaned and tried to move, adjusting his hips.

"Mmmm, now I'm serious. I'm gonna be sore tomorrow already."

The gent sighed, moving him so he could lay down with his head on Ryan's chest, then he reached for his cigarettes. Ray closed his eyes, arms wrapping delicately around Rye's torso so he could run his fingertips over the bumps his fingernails had left only a few minutes earlier. He definitely, honestly, loved Ryan in the wholest form possible.

"I love you, Ryan."

"I know, Ray."

"Please don't ever leave me."

"Okay."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"A real one or like the one you gave to your old crew?"

"What?"

"I looked up what your tattoo meant and--"

"My tattoo is none of your fucking business and is an entirely different fucking story. I promise you with what I'm willing to fucking give you, okay?"

"Hey-- that's not--" He'd sat up now, angrily looking at Ryan directly in his eyes. 

"Get the fuck off of me."

...

They always made up quick. By the next morning Ray was back with his head on Ryan's chest. It didn't really matter, anyway. Ryan was right to be angry, he supposed. Something dreadful probably happened that he didn't want to talk about. Ray could understand that.

They didn't bother getting out of bed until 2 o'clock. Then, Ray coaxed Ryan into joining him in the shower so they could sit down and enjoy the warm water together. It was one of his favorite things, honestly. He wished he could do it with everyone. He's heard some of the most spectacular things by people who've been given time to think in the warm spray. Especially from Ryan. He simply adores these intimate moments, playing with Ryan's fingers as he basks in the steam. It's one of the most therapeutic things in the fucking world, honestly.

He gives his gent a back rub as they eat lunch. Ryan sighs a lot and thanks him, and he's really happy for the little things he can do to show him that he appreciates him.

Ryan puts his mask on at around 5, and Ray doesn't bother asking why.

Ray totally kicks Ryan's fucking ass in Mario, but Ryan doesn't seem to mind too much. At least he thinks. He can't really tell.

They make out for 45 minutes around 6, and then another 20 after that, but who's counting? Maybe him.

As they're sitting on the couch, when it's almost 8, Ryan whispers into Ray's ear that he loves him. In his own little way. Ray thinks about that for a long time as they watch television.

At 8:36 they leave Ray's apartment to go to Geoff's. They don't speak on the way. 

....

"Alright, now everyone listen up, cause we have to get into the bank right as it's closing and we don't have much fucking time. Again, our pairs are Ryan and Ray, Michael and myself, Lindsay and Gavin, and Jack in the sky. R&R, the pawn shop on 5th. Me and Michael have Vinnie's Discount Store, Lindsay and Gavin, you have the bank. Now, I'm fucking trusting you with this. Jack will stay with you guys the whole time for support, just don't get yourselves killed inside the building. And I highly doubt you will, anyway. Those guards like to leave early. I'll meet you at the pier as soon as possible, the boat takes off at ten whether you are on it or not. Jack, you'll fly to our destination. Got it?" Geoff ordered out to his crew.

Everyone nodded, or agreed in some fashion.

"Well, let's get going."

Ryan and Ray hopped into their designated unmarked car, Ray giving the other an excited look as he revved the engine unnecessarily loud. They took off down the road, passing any cars that were still out driving at this hour on a Sunday with ease. Ryan leaned forward, both arms resting on the headboard, looking out the front window. He almost felt the need to ask again if he was really serious about them staying together, but it didn't seem the best time. He pulled into the lot for the store and put his hand up to his ear, pressing the button so he could speak into the microphone. 

"R&R is at their destination. Waiting your call."

"Yeah, one minute," Geoff's voice said into his ear.

He rubbed his hands on his pants, turning around and plucking a random mask out of the backseat and putting it on, then picking up his and the gent's weapons, handing it to him discreetly. He sat way back in his seat, glancing over at his crew mate every now and then for no reason other than to see that he was still preoccupied. It felt like ages of sitting there in silence before Geoff spoke again. 

"We're in place. You guys ready at the bank?"

"Yeah."

"Still ready here, too," he heard Ryan mumble into the microphone.

"Go."


	3. Michael - Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I promise the new chapter will come soon I just don't have the energy for it.
> 
> The chapter masterpost is now here : http://ohmogard.tumblr.com/post/109559848041/wdytyawalw

"So, everyone. This time tomorrow. Everyone meet here, we'll go over the plan one last time, then we'll head out. No fucking around. We don't want any of you idiots to die, now."

Michael laughed at that, leaning back and covering his mouth. Ah, he just felt really nice today. Plus, the face that Geoff had shot at Gavin on that last bit was grade-a. Gavin looked over at Michael, first giving him a surprised then shifty smile, leaning on him with complaint.

"It's not that funny, Michael!"

"It is though, you get yourself killed almost every time! You make dumb ass mistakes! If I didn't know you I'd think you were a damned rook!"

"I'm not that bad."

"No, but you're fucking stupid," he sighed happily, leaning back on Gavin.

"Oh, right."

"Michael!" Lindsay turned toward him quickly, he quirked a brow in response.

"Hm?"

"Jack's going to join us for dinner, but they don't really like Chinese."

"Eh, we can have something else, I don't care."

"Aw, he can piss off! I really was in the mood for it!" Gavin groaned, sitting back up and pulling out his phone.

"Nah, it's no biggie. We'll have Chinese after the heist tomorrow," Michael nudged Gavin, smiling at the dubious look he gave him in return.

"If you say so."

Michael sat up a little, inhaling deeply and clearing his throat. He'd been feeling a bit stuffed up recently. Kinda felt a bit thick in the throat. Lindsay threw her arm over his shoulder as she talked, shying him into hers and Jack's conversation, being that she knew he'd love the topic.

"Oh, yeah! I definitely think that the second Portal is better than the first one. Just a lot more factors going in," Jack smiled softly, running their hand through their hair to tuck it behind their ear.  
Michael laughed, shaking his head and humming. "I don't know about that. Sure, Portal 2 was fuckin' great, but I think the first one is on the same level, at least on the first playthrough. After playing the second, though, it kind of loses its value. It's kind of like, I dunno, the plot just thickens so fucking much. It's rad. I think they're tied."

"But see, the second is timeless! That makes it better!"

"But---" he began, before being interrupted by Ray.

"See you later guys! Me and Ryan are going to head out. Catch some good eats and sleep before tomorrow."

"See you later, boys!" Lindsay waved, and jacked mimicked her as well.

"See you. Text me later, Ray."

He nodded, shooting him pistol fingers before returning his arm around Ryan's back and exiting.

"We should probably leave soon, too. If we want to eat and get to bed. Sleep is key!" the redhead chirped, running her hands through her bangs with a large grin.

He fullheartedy agreed, giving her the smallest kiss on the cheek before stretching and standing up.

...

Michael remembered sitting peacefully on the end of his bed, lips pressed to Gavin's hand with no intent of moving, the latter slumped against his back in a sleepily drunk manner. The elder's hands ran up and down his chest in a feathery, ticklish motion. He slowly lowered Gavin's hand from his face, glancing back at him over his shoulder with a smile.

"Hey, boi."

"Hello, gorgeous."

"Don't call me that, Gav."

"I'm sorry."

"That's cool, buddy. Don't worry about it."

The lad smiled and tilted back his head in response to the tiny kisses he felt on his shoulder, knocking his forehead against the Brit's. Gavin made a face, crinkling up his nose.

"Cut it out, you."

"Oh, come on! I rarely get much time at all without Lindsay here."

"I said cut it out."

"I know what you said! I'll just pout a little and stuff. Need anything?"

"Uh, a back rub would be nice actually."

"I was trying to give you a massage a few minutes ago!"

"Massage your way into my pants. You've got no charm."

"Pshaw! I do so!"

"Mmm-mm. Come on. Little kiss," he pointed at his cheek with a sly smile.

Gavin squinted, biting his chin witha laugh. "You're a little bugger, Michael!"

"Ehhh," he batted him off.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Gavin!"

"I love you for everything you are, I promise."

"Oh-- Okay, Gavin."

"I do."

"Yeah-- I love you too. Are you alright?"'

"I'm fine."


	4. Blackjack Lover

Geoff blew on the dice in his hands, quickly flinging them forward and onto the table. Everyone around him whooped and shook his shoulders with excitement. It never ceased to amaze him how happy people would get for others when in a casino. Unless that person is beating you, everyone is up in arms and rioting with joy at every chip that comes your way. He came to this casino once a week ever since New Year's. When he had come, his crew in tow, and won big time and time again while drunk off his rocker he had meandered his way over to the table a little ways off from where he was now. There, not only did he get his ass handed to him and lose half of his winnings, but he meant the most gorgeous woman with a breathtaking grin.

Her name was Griffon, and fuck if she wasn't a tease.

She had agreed afterwards to have drinks with him, holding him close and nice while he was dizzy with intoxication and enjoying the lovely bar life of Los Santos, and then she just.. disappeared. She would do this time after time, whispering little things to him as he played that would make him forget himself and bust at her table. Which he hated, because he used to think he was fairly good at blackjack. She was sublime. She had the biggest stroke of luck he'd ever seen, and time and time again she would promise him dates and tell him she fancied him then stand him up and leave him dry. He honestly thought he was just being a fucking creep at first. Geoff lost count of the amount of times he asked her if he was being a fucking goon and that she could just tell him to leave her alone and he would, but each time she'd insist otherwise.

So, every week he came to the Silver Dollar, win at some of the games he was spectacular at..then blow it at her table until he was about to go under or her shift was up, whichever came first. Usually he went under. Geoff collected all of his chips and looked over his shoulder, watching as a few patreons left the table she usually went to as she sat down, and her shift begun. They fucking knew better. He stood up, weaving around a big fat man in a flowered shirt, went on.

"Winner! Winner! Winner! Winner!"

"Oh my God, oh fuck!"

"Gerald! Come on! We're leaving!"

"Baby doll would you roll these for me--"

"Stop spinning no no no--"

Geoff paid no mind to all the noises-- the chirps and bells ringing and shouting and hushed murmurs-- that were happening around him. None of that was really important and this moment. He had shit to do. His eyes soon locked with the woman he had come to see. Her eyebrow quirked and pulled the next card from the stack. She looked at him coyly, putting down the card in her hand with a little flourish before beckoning him over. The gent knew he was already beet red, and put his head down and followed her request. He didn't even have a choice. She waved goodbye to the patron who was getting up from her table as he slithered his way into a seat, and her eyes flew to him.

"Trying your luck again?"

"Yeah."

"With me or the cards?"

He flushed and shook his head, sliding some chips onto the table. Her eyes flitted down at them, then she gave him his cards.

"It's nice to see you again, Geoff."

"You too, Griffon."

She sighed, humming as she brushed her hair out of her face. "Blackjack pays 3 to 1, insurance pays 2 to 1. Dealer must stand on 17, and draw to 16."

"Yeah, I know."

He leaned forward, fingers tapping on the table as he looked down at his deal. He had 7. She had 5. 

"Hit me."

17.

"Pssshh, hit me."

"You bust."

"How have you been?"

"I've been fine."

"You still look incredible."

"Thank you, I know."

He slid more chips onto the table, and she dealt him another hand. An 8 and an ace, so a 9 or a 19, depending on how he felt. He felt like a 9. 

"Hit me."

19.

"Stay."

She flipped her card over, showing she had 19 as well.

"Push. No one wins."

"Your shift ends at 12, right?"

"Are you asking me on a date?"

"Yes."

She laughed, and they played multiple rounds with her saying nothing. Geoff sighed to himself; it was going to be one of those times, wasn't it? He didn't want to ask again, now embarassed she'd reject him as she'd done in the past. Honestly, he didn't know if it was worse when she said no or didn't even show up. She kept eying him as he played, and finally she stopped and cleared her throat. She reaching across the table, and swept all of his chips into play. Her smile was warm and bright, and she tapped on the table back at him, expectantly.

"If you win this round," she began, "I'll take you up on your offer."

He clicked his tongue. "Doesn't sound too fair."

"Maybe the fates will shine upon you."

"You can just say no, you know. If you aren't even going to come."

"Come on, I have a good feeling."

"You're cruel."

Griffon paid no mind, instead batting her eyelashes at him and giving him his cards. He held his breath as he looked down, seeing two tens and laughing as he put them on the table.

"Stay!"

She picked up a card for herself, smiling as she turned them around, so he could see.

"Blackjack."

Geoff scoffed, sitting back in his seat and running his hand through his hair. "Fuck, well."

"I'll see you at midnight, Mr. Ramsey. I suppose, if you plan on buying me a nice, late dinner."

"But I--"

"I like you tonight. Pick me up at midnight. Now shoo, or go get yourself some more money."

"I'll be back at 12--" he scrambled to stand, and her eyes followed him all the way out of sight.

...

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy it!


End file.
